Support Our Troops

OK, so 2000+ American soldiers have died in Iraq. That is not cool.

Everywhere I go, I see magnetic ribbons on the back of cars telling us to "Support Our Troops". As if that in itself is going to help. How many lives can be saved by a crappy magnetic thing embossed with patriotic buzzwords that was made in China?

People of America, listen, ribbons are not going to win this war. To do that, we are going to need something a little more...

Plastic Wristbands

A year or so ago little yellow wristbands sold by Lance Armstrong started popping up everywhere, and look what it did. Cancer is a thing of the past, my friends.

But it didn't stop there... pink ones KO'd Breast Cancer... blue ones solved Juvenille Diabetes... blue and red ones pushed the Chicago Cubs to the World Series.

So why in God's name is there no wristbands out there supporting our troops? You get a good color scheme, a catchy slogan and some cheap Chinese labor and BAM - you got yourself a fad. Man, that would teach Sadaam a lesson.

Can you imagine the look on his face when he saw news clips of 13-year-old girls wearing Red, White and Blue wristbands that say "Support Our Troops" or "God Bless the USA" or "United We Stand". He'd surrender in a minute once he realized that these colors don't run.

Why haven't we done this yet? It's as if American doesn't care.