Who says you are worth it?

I keep hearing about this large abstinence movement in high schools. Kids are attempting to “stay pure” and “save themselves for marriage” with pledges, written document, rings, t-shirts… all kinds of stuff.

This is really disturbing to me. Not the fact that many of these kids are still giving out oral and anal like it’s a free sample at Hy-Vee (sorry girls… butt sex counts, that's why it's called butt SEX), but just the pure arrogance of the whole thing.

I’ve seen T-shirts proclaiming “I’m Worth Waiting For”.



Really? And just how do you know that Chastity McPure? Unless you spend each day breaking down “Tales From the Clit” and “Sex Trek II: The Wrath of Bob” like they were game film and practicing your moves on one of those CPR dummies, I’m willing to bet that you suck.

It’s people like that who still give dry handies in college.

The person waiting for you is going to feel like the kid who finds out Christmas morning that the Nintendo-shaped box under the tree contains a freaking sweater.

Like anything else, sex takes practice to get good. Trial and error. Market research. Besides, you don’t buy a car without test driving it first. I’d much rather find out my “soulmate” is a freak while we are dating than after I Do. A wedding night is not the time find out someone needs half a roll of Saran Wrap and a jar of Cheez Whiz to get off.

And another thing, how do you think it makes a kid feel when he is doing everything he can to get laid, only to get shot down on a daily basis, then watches somebody who could be getting some voluntarily say no. It’s like throwing away a sandwich in front of a homeless guy, then pissing on it when he tries to fish it out of the garbage.

“Now NOBODY can eat it”