Inauguration proclamation

For those of you that played the Christian's inauguration Drinking Game, it'll type this really quietly.

Just some random thoughts that occurred as I watched George D. Bush's (the D stands for Dubya) little party.

-Opening prayer... don't worry, separation between church and state doesn't apply if you're CHRISTIAN, and I have a feeling its going to get really churchy in here.

-Nice to hear a guys voice singing God Bless America (separation of what?) instead of the high, shrill soprano voice that is in such favor for these events.

-LET THE EAGLE SOOOOOAAAAR. I can't believe they are using that song Ashcroft wrote after the way Letterman mocked him for 2 months about it. I'm laughing my head off. You do know Ashcroft lost an election (as the incumbant, mind you) in Missouri to a dead man. Just a reminder.

-Here come the Cheney's. You can see the red mechanical eye from behind his glasses. He looks like he's about to... yup, he just punched a guardsman.

-Cut to John Kerry on stage. Looks like he wants to kill himself. I can relate. I remember when I didn't get homecoming king, or spring week king, or prom king. I was like the Buffalo Bills of high school. Both were unbelievable decsions that hurt America.

-Here comes Bush and who the hell is that fat chick leading them down the steps. I would pay 1,000 dollars to see her take a tumble and roll down that flight of steps like the boulder at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

-Bush isn't wearing the Beaver skin cowboy hat. PETA wins. Dammit. Anytime you can inject the word beaver into an inauguration, you do it.

-Did Barbara Walters just file a report saying that Laura was wearing pants? What, is this freaking E! Inaugural coverage? Didn't she used to be a real journalist? God I hate the media.

-Did Walters just come back to say Hillary was the first to wear pants at an inauguration and "now it is common". Wasn't she the last first lady before Laura? how common could it be now. I'll take some whisky please with a shot of Bob Woodward's blood.

-Haskert looks like he is going to whiz himself. Then again, if I was swearing in the terminator, I would be nervous too.

-Mr. Speaker bumbled a few words in the oath... atta boy. You know Cheney is going to beat him down as soon as they get back in the Capitol.

-The oath of office will now be administered by the crypt keeper. Not sure if Rehnquist is alive of if it is some elaborate Weekend at Bernies type of thing.

-Wait a minute... LAURA IS WEARING A SKIRT!!! Somebody punch Barbara Walters.

-Here comes the speech...

-In a nutshell, he likes God and Freedom. Atta boy. Way to take a stand.

-Opressive governments beware!!! Unless your crown prince is a close personal friend of the president and you sell us oil. Then feel free to behead who you want, opress your people and teach "America the Infidels" in your public schools.

-Now it's PARTY TIME!!!

Saw a pic of a nametag table at one of the parties at an unknown hotel this morning. They actually had a nametag for the president.

HELLO MY NAME IS
George W. Bush

"So what do you do? ... Really, of the United States, eh? That must be interesting."

Seriously. If I was there I woulda nabbed that thing and sold it on EBAY.